wishing

I have a shopping addiction that is not healthy. I love getting things for my girls. Travis has to remind me all the time that they do not need anything.

It's true. They don't.
And it's also true that we are on a tight(er) budget now that Trav's in school.

But I still want to spend.
What is wrong with me?

So instead of buying things, I've started making wish lists. When I feel like shopping, I go browse around online for things I'd like to get the girls. I put them on lists and then let the lists sit for awhile.

Days later, I go back and look at them. Usually I delete a few things because really, it was just an impulse search anyway.

Better than an impulse buy, right?

My therapy is working rather well, I have to say. And it's making it easier to know what to actually get the girls for the holidays and their birthdays. If something's been on the list awhile, I'm sure it's something they'll like.

And Trav likes me better when I'm not spending money.
Win win all around.

AND, Amazon is having a wishing contest: if you put something onto an Amazon.com wish list from a website other than Amazon, you're entered to win $50,000 in Amazon gift cards. So what if my chances are slim-to-none? I'm trying to break my spending habit with some wish-therapy and could possibly win a ton of money in the process? Count me in.

Wish wish wishing away.

************

Oh, did you wanna see the girls' wish lists?
Here you go:

Kapria
Mila

luggage can be...

I'm home! and upacked...though my luggage is still sitting in the living room. How can I put it away when it has become Kapria's main source of transportation?

utah trip: day 7

Monday 11.08.2010

I spent the morning with Nicole and the boys. I am amazed by my sisters. Most days I can't even manage to get out the door with my two girls before noon. I may or may not be dressed and my hair most likely will be in a ponytail of some sort. My sisters can get themselves and their three children ready and out the door in the morning on any given day.

Nicole did it this morning. Granted, I was there to help. But still, she is definitely the more scheduled and organized out of the two of us (who would have thought?!).

So we ate a slow breakfast and enjoyed talking and playing with the boys. And hurried to talk about as many things as possible while we were together because over skype and the phone is just not the same. Then we loaded up the car with everyone and every needful thing and headed toward work. (And talked a lot more on the drive.)

Then the time came that we arrived and we had to say goodbye (again).

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Then I walked in the building and it was HELLO to all my work friends. And there were lots of projects to work on and questions to ask and answer and people to see. And six hours was not enough time there. It was like cramming a whole other family into this short little time and I was running upstairs and downstairs and trying to get all the hugs and the hi's in (while still getting things done for work). It was a great day, but kind of a whirlwind.

Did I mention I love my coworkers? I really do. I miss seeing them five days a week and hearing about their lives and their ups and downs and goods and bads. (Some of them promised to take a road trip to see me. You know who you are. I will not forget that promise. Even if you don't think it was a promise. It was.)

I ended the work day with a meeting and finished up one project. Then it was time to head to the airport.

Overall, I guess the theme of the trip was: MISSING. I am missing Utah something fierce.

However, home isn't there anymore. And when my friend Britt dropped me off at the airport (after a great drive and a great chat), I was so excited to head home to see my three favorite people in the world.

utah trip: day 6

Sunday 11.07.2010

After the Saturday night chat with Grandma, I headed to Nicole and Jeff's to spend the night. Of course Nic and I stayed up way too late chatting and working on projects again. It can't be helped.

Sunday was nice. I went to church with them, and Weston and Tave played by me and still liked me. This is a novelty I will always love about being the visitor. When we lived close, I wasn't treated nearly as special. (Though I'd still take living close over visiting any day.)

After church Shawn & Abby came over and we had dinner and played games. I hadn't played any games in a long time, and it was fun. I can't remember but I might have won. Wait, no. I almost won one game. Or I did win? I don't know. It was fun no matter.

The boys heading off to bed (oh how I love them):

This game is serious business:

(see how those matching pajama bottoms could confuse anyone?)

It was another night of goodbyes. I had to say goodbye to Shawn and Abby and Jeff (who would be gone in the morning before I got up). Too hard, I tell you. Goodbyes are too hard.

utah trip: day 5 (later)

After the birthday celebration, I headed over to see Grandma Anthony. We talked for awhile and I was reminded of how much I really miss her. I feel so loved when I talk with her. And so comfortable. And her skin is so soft and smooth that it's like holding silk when I hold her hand.

She told me some stories about Travis and Kjerstin and Britt. The same stories we've all heard a lot, but I liked hearing them again. When I hear them, I can hear how much she loves you guys. It makes me happy.

I'm so grateful for you, Grandma. For the time I got to live with you and learn from you (even if some days were hard for both of us). And grateful that as much as I feel loved by you, I know you love Trav even more. We need you and we love you, too.

utah trip: day 5

Saturday 11.06.2010

Day two of the conference was really good. The morning started out with the editor sharing a lot of really helpful information. She gave us a whole new view of looking at our writing, and I'm excited to start editing my manuscripts based on her review ideas. (Though my picture book manuscripts are on hold while I work on my novel.)

All in all, the workshop was a good learning and reminding experience. And it got me to Utah so I could see my family (which is really the reason I wanted to be there anyway).

After the workshop on Saturday, I met up with my family at a park to celebrate Shawn's birthday. We ate Nicole's delicious lasagna, played a little, hit a pinata, and froze. Yeah...we thought it would be warm enough to hold the dinner outside, but as soon as the sun set it was soooo cold. Granted we were all about an hour late in meeting, so that didn't help matters. So we ate quickly, then headed over to Shawn & Abby's apartment for singing and pie.

We love you, Shawn!

I was sad to say goodbye to Chelsea and Rob and their kids, since we knew that would be the last time I got to see them for this trip. It was awesome to get to hang out with everyone together for a few hours. I miss you guys so much.

utah trip: day 4

Friday 11.05.2010

The main reason for heading out to Utah was to attend a picture book writing workshop. The workshop took place on Friday and Saturday at the organizer's home. Abby was so nice and let me borrow her car for two days so I could get there and back.

So Friday morning I headed up to Highland. Shawn and I were supposed to get up and work out together, just like we'd done three days a week for several months before I moved. I was looking forward to having time to talk to him and to get exercising again (since I've been terrible about it ever since we moved here). But sadly it didn't happen. We stayed up too late the night before and were both so tired we slept instead of getting up. I thought I was the only one who was sad, but later Shawn told me he missed that time to talk to me. So when we're in Arizona for Christmas (each of us at our in-laws) we've agreed to meet for workouts no matter what. I can't wait!

But back to the workshop. Day one was good, but I did feel a little like I'd heard it all before. Which was a bummer. But it also made me realize that I HAVE heard it and now I just need to get writing. That's the difference between someone who talks about writing and someone who can be called a writer. I am great at wanting it, but not so great at making myself sit down to do it.

I did meet a lovely editor and some really great writers. I had one of my manuscripts critiqued and was a little disappointed to find it needs way more work. I really had felt it was just about ready to send out. Usually I take critique and feedback no problem, but this day was hard for some reason. I was so discouraged at the end of the day. I just felt so far from what I want.

I went back to Shawn and Abby's, where Abby was making a delicious dinner for us. It was warm and cozy in their house, and full of love and family, and my discouraging thoughts went into hiding for awhile. It was nice. We had a great evening together, but you get no pictures because I didn't take any. Bummer, eh? A good day, nonetheless.

Okay, I'll show you a couple books.

Aaron Zenz created one of our all-time favorites:

And the editor talked about his next one coming out (in 2011). I'm really looking forward to this:

There you go.

utah trip: day 3 (rest of the day)

11.04.2010

We took our time getting ready in the morning, and then ran a few errands together. We stopped at the library for Nic to drop something off (or pick up?) and she ran into a friend of mine from college, so of course I had to run in and say hi. (Hi Katie! Shoot. I think I lost her email address! I'll have to search for that.)

Then we picked up lunch and took it to Shawn and Abby's. After Nic and the boys headed home, Abby and I ran some errands. We had to get food together for the book party that night. It was fun to hang out with Abby and get to talk to her. A lot of times when we were together before I always had kids with me, so there are just so many distractions to a conversation. But this time we just got to talk and talk and talk.

The book party was a lot of fun. Thank you to friends who came! It was so good to see you and get to catch up on life. I forgot to take pictures until mostly everyone had left, but here are a couple with some of my favorite people:

Apparently we should have invited Shawn to be in the pic.

 

 My roommate Erin. So good to see her! And I got to meet her darling Landon. I held him long enough to think another baby in our family will be good. One day...

I stole this picture off Erin's blog because I totally missed getting Landon's picture at the party. But isn't he the cutest little bean ever?

Abby was so gracious to let me have a party at her apartment. (Thanks, sis!) After the last guest left, we cleaned up. Then the three of us watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Funny movie, and random (which I like), but there were too many inappropriate things in it for me to feel good recommending it to anyone. Is it bad that I still laughed a lot? Oh well, I did.

PS. Usborne books really are so awesome. I loved looking at all of them and drooling over them. And then my awesome sister made it possible for me to get some for free (just throw a party and you can too)! I am so excited. I can't wait for the girls to open them on Christmas day.

utah trip: day 3 (morning)

11.04.2010

On Wednesday when the boys found out Nicole and I were leaving, they were so sad. So I told them that I'd still be spending the night and would see them in the morning. "Do you want me to come get you out of your crib tomorrow, Tave?" I asked. "Yes!" he said.

So when I heard Weston and Tave chatting in their room on Thursday morning, I got up and went in.

Time: 7am
Setting: Weston & Tave's bedroom

"Hi guys!" I said. I had my hair in a ponytail and was wearing a pair of pjs I'd borrowed from Nicole. I walked to the crib and got Tave out. He looked at me quizically, then gave me a hug.

Tave was still really tired (he'd been up a lot through the night), and he laid down right away on the floor. I sat next to him and Weston grabbed some toys and sat by us. Then we had an awesome conversation about favorite superheroes (mine is Wolverine, Weston's is Wolverine and Spiderman, Tave's is Rafael and Superman).

After a few minutes Tave looked at me and said, "I don't want Aunt Shar to get me out of my crib. She can do it later."
I said, "Tave, I'm Aunt Shar. I already got you."
He said, "No you're not."
I said, "Yes I am."
He said, "No. You're not."
He was still lying on the ground next to me, holding his blankie and sucking his two middle fingers.
I said, "Then who am I?"
He said, "Mommy."
Weston said, "That's not Mommy. That's Aunt Shar."
Tave looked at me a little confused, but didn't say anything.
I thought, That was funny. Does he really think I'm his Mom? No, not possible. 

After a few more minutes of talking, I said, "Let's go to my room to get my glasses. Then we'll go downstairs."

We stood up and Weston walked out the door and to the left - toward the room where I was staying.
Tave walked out the door and to the right - toward Nicole & Jeff's room.
I said, "Tave, we're going to my room."
He looked at me and looked toward Nicole's room. Then looked at me again. I could see his mind working. Then he followed me into the room.
I thought, Okay, now he's really figured it out.

_____________

Fourty-five minutes later
_____________

Time: About 8:30 am
Setting: Living room. Nicole on the couch. I'm on the ground. Tave and Weston are playing around the room.

I finished telling Nicole the above story. We were laughing and so surprised that Tave couldn't tell us apart. Nicole says, "Tave, did you think Aunt Shar was Mommy?"
Tave says, "Yeah. Mommy, you look a lot like Aunt Shar."
Then he looks at each of us.
"Aunt Shar, you look a lot like Mommy."

Ha ha ha. He is just too cute. I think Nic and I do look a lot more alike when we don't have makeup on, our hair is pulled back, and we're wearing matching pjs (Nic has two pairs of pajama bottoms that are the same, and we were both wearing them that morning). That, combined with Tave being super tired, made this the first time one of our kids has ever confused us.

What do you think? Are we looking more alike?

utah trip: day 2

11.03.2010

On Wednesday morning I woke up to Syanne saying, "Is it time to get up yet?" She climbed up in bed with me and asked if I'd come play with her. Of course!

We took our time getting ready and talking and eating breakfast. Then Nicole and the boys came. I love my sisters so much. I knew it was going to be hard living away from them, but I didn't realize how much until we were gone. We've lived in different states before, but since we started having kids we've always been close enough to see each other. Often. It was so so good to be with them both and get to talk and talk.

After a couple hours, I packed my bags into Nicole's van and we headed down to her house. The boys were so excited to show me their room and their toys and to have me stay with them. Did I already mention how fun it was to be the visitor? All the kids were so excited to have me staying at their houses and treated me like the most exciting news ever. It was awesome. Everyone deserves to feel like that sometime.

Wednesday night Nicole and I had a girls' night. (Thanks, Jeff, for making it possible!) We went to dinner, did some shopping, and tried the delicious desserts at Cupcake Chic. Sadly, we didn't take a single picture. But we had so much fun. Happy 30th to us (just a little late)!

utah trip: day 1

I flew to Utah early Tuesday morning. Chelsea, Syanne, and Aydrien picked me up from the airport. It was so good to see them! I love being close to our CA family, but being away from my siblings and nieces and nephews has definitely been hard. Chelsea and I talked so much that we kept missing our turns and exits on the way home. Aaah! A fifteen minute drive home turned into an hour drive. But we had fun anyway.

We went home and I got to hold Reverie. She is such a smiley baby! And so so beautiful. Syanne and I also played a lot. After lunch we all took a walk to the park and Aydrien, though he won't let me  hold him, did let me push him in the swing. He loves swinging!

Rob and Chels made a delicious dinner and we enjoyed hanging out and talking and talking. Syanne let me sleep in her bedroom and even shared her little mermaid bed with me. I am loving being able to focus on each kid while I'm at their house. Their personalities are so fun.

They all have been asking for Kapria and Mila and Uncle Trav, though. Next time I come to Utah, I'm bringing them with me for sure!