ca trip eve

The night before Kapria and I left for our trip, we packed and hung out as a family. Lately she has become a monkey. She loves to hold onto our hands and climb up as high as she can go. Trav usually does this next to the love sac and doesn't hold her hands at all. Once she's tired of hanging on, K let's go and lands with a big laugh.























We hated to have to say goodbye. We both missed our main man and we were glad when he was able to join us.

I'll update about the trip over the next few days. Or maybe I'll get ambitious and one day you'll wake up to 20 new posts. I bet you can't wait.

to mom, eric, cynthia, michelle, chuck, and paul

Over the past few days I've gone through all my pictures to find any that include Grandma. I have loved remembering so many good times with her. I've been sad that I only got to see her once this year. And overall, I just keep thinking how much I will miss seeing her when I'm home with Mom and Dad in a few days. That thought makes me incredibly sad.

But more than the sadness I'm feeling, my heart is heavier for you. I miss my grandma. But you're missing your mom.

So I just wanted to send a big warm happy HUG to all of you.

Also, here's a bit of what has warmed my heart this week:






I never noticed before, until I looked at all my pictures of her from the last ten years, that Grandma is smiling in every single one. And no matter how many times I look at each picture, I can't help but smile back. She is an amazing woman and I have a lot to learn from her.

I love you all.
and I can't wait to deliver the above-mentioned hug in person.

husband and wife

I don't fully understand what this means. But over the past few years I've started to understand a little bit more.

I realize I've been kind of selfish. Okay, delete the kind of. I've spent a lot more time thinking about myself than my husband, and it has made a difference in our marriage. Not the good kind of difference, though.

I can see why so many people have a hard time staying married. When things get hard and you can't seem to communicate and you think, maybe I wasn't supposed to marry this person. we can't seem to agree on anything lately. do we even like each other? do we even love each other? What's to stop you from continuing down the path of those thoughts?

The answer: not a lot.

Unless...

you have a temple.

a covenant.

eternity.
We promised each other and we promised Heavenly Father that we would make this work.
I know I can be less selfish.
I know I can be more forgiving.
I know love is there and it can grow.
I know my husband is as committed to us as I am.
I know that Heavenly Father is committed to us, too.

And that's enough for today.

I love you, Travis. I love us. And I love that we are learning to be husband and wife together, for each other, for eternity.

100%

I love being a mom. It is the most happy-making, heart-filling role to have. It is a role that I was meant to fill.

Sometimes I just look at Kapria and think, "How could something so perfect and so beautiful and so lovable have come from me?"


And then a I remember that even though she is part of me physically, she never really came from me. She's 100% from God and 100% his. I have the sacred job of kissing and hugging her daily. Of playing with her. Of helping her brush her teeth. Of reading her bedtime stories. And of teaching her about how much God loves her and what she needs to do to see him again.

I'll never find a better job than that.

just for the record

football

we went to the last home game of the season.
it was my first game in a few years.
it was kapria's first game ever.
and it was trav's first game cheering with his daughter.

here's what K thought of all the
cheering:

i got to pose with
the biggest cougar fan ever:
grandma

kapria mostly liked playing with the seat
and talking to the people behind us.

she thought dad was pretty funny
for yelling so much.

overall: a great day for the cougars
and a great day for us

sisters - nieces - nephews - cousins

I consider myself incredibly lucky to be living in the same state as my sisters. I want our kids to know each other, and grow up together, and love being together, and so far it's happening just as I hoped.

See:

yep. I'm really really
lucky.

the pumpkin dance

1. Strip down to diaper
so your clothes don't get covered in pumpkin goo.

2. Dance around the pumpkin.
Laugh - it makes it more fun.


3. Put your feet on the pumpkin.
The texture is really cool.


4. Help dads cut a hole in the pumpkin.


5. Scoop goo out.
This is the best part.



6. Show off goo.

7. Dance some more.

upside down fun

wrestling buddies

I love that Weston has so much fun with Uncle Trav.

i can do it myself now

Mom gave Kapria this zebra for her birthday. At the time, K could not get on by herself. And since her feet didn't touch the ground when she was sitting, it was pretty hard for her to stay on.

Two months later,
she can climb on by herself,
and her feet touch the ground.

She is so proud,
and she loves playing on this every day now.

She also figured out how to climb into Weston's chair.
She brought the bear along for company.

I am amazed, excited, and a bit sad
at how fast she grows.

we love the park

just like mom

book orders

remember these cool things?

i remember how in elementary school my teachers would pass them out, and i would get so excited looking through all the pages and pages of books. i wanted to buy every single book.

if i was really lucky, i got to buy one.

then i would wait, day after day, hoping that ms. teacher would say a special box had arrived with the new books. when the day finally came, i could hardly sit still waiting to hold my new book. as soon as ms. teacher called me up to her desk to get the special order, i would hold it in my hands and carefully flip through the pages with my thumb. whrrr. mmm. the smell of new pages just waiting to be read is heavenly.

is it bad to admit that the same thing happens now?

one of my good friends is a teacher, and she lets me order books as if i'm part of her class. i love it. i am so excited when she says book orders have arrived. travis thinks i have way too many books. he's right, of course. but books are just what i like having too much of.

she dropped some off tonight.
i rifled through the pages. sniff. sniff. can you smell that? it is a lovely smell that means an adventure is waiting for me. i can't wait.

ps. if you'd like to join in the fun by ordering some books of your very own, send me an email.
sometimes it's great to feel like a kid again. and always it's great to read a good book.

grandma bea

I love you and miss you. You are a great example to me in all you do. You are kind and loving and so incredibly positive. You give the best hugs. You have a contagious laugh. I love playing games with you. I love getting cards and letters telling about your day and how much you love us.


I love you, Grandma.
More than I ever said, and more than I could show.


I was so excited for Kapria to see you again in just a few weeks. She was so tiny last time and now she's so busy and saying words and making us laugh and I knew she'd love you right away and want to sit on your lap and play with your watch and give you a hug. I'm sad that I don't get to see that. I'm sad that you don't get to be there.

But I know I will see you again. I know that you are happy. I know that Heavenly Father wanted you home, and that one day we'll join you there.

So I'm sad because I miss you, but I'm happy because I know where you are and that it is right where you need to be.